


I love you but please don't notice

by Ohwelpthiswilldo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 4+1, Cuddling, Fluff, Getting Together, I love those dorks, Kenma has to handle it, KuroKen - Freeform, Kuroo is insecure, Kuroos parents are lesbians, M/M, What else to tag?, just for fun, no proofread, we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 21:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12944589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohwelpthiswilldo/pseuds/Ohwelpthiswilldo
Summary: Four times Kuroo almost confessed to Kenma and one time Kenma confessed to him.





	I love you but please don't notice

The first time Kuroo almost confessed was in their childhood. Kuroo still clearly remembered first meeting that shy, black haired kid. Remembered, how Kenma sat alone on the swing and stared at the gaming console he´d had with him. Kuroo, who had been playing tag with the other children n the playground, had excused himself. Half out of pity for the lone kid and half out of curiosity he had approached Kenma. As soon as he´d gotten close to the swing the petite kid stopped playing and his eyes had flitted up to meet his. Immediately Kuroo stopped moving, one thought crossing his mind: “ Wow. What cool eyes! Just like that stone I have at home!” For a second there was silence, but the instant reply:” Did you just got your head hit?” , gave away to Kuroo that he had in fact not thought, but said that. He just beamed at the other kid:” You know, I got a huge collections of stones at home. One of them was exactly the colour of your eyes, what was it called again...a..aalm...almbar. I think.” When the only response he got was a passive stare he quickly babbled on: “ I´m Tetsuro Kuroo. What´s your name?” The other boy just blinked surprised before mumbling:” I´m Kozume Kenma.” For a few minutes they stood or sat in Kenmas case in comfortable silence, before Kuroo leaned over to glance at the game boy Kenma still held and asked: “ What are you playing?” “Pokemon.” “Wow so cool. I´m not allowed to play until I´m at least ten my mother says. I´m so envious.”, Kuroo whined. Kenma just laughed at him. “You´re cruel.”, Kuroo pouted. For a while they kept bickering, Kenma sticking out his tongue at Kuroo and Kuroo pouting at him aggressively. As the light grew dimmer Kuroo couldn´t deny any more that he had to go home, even though it was barely a five minutes walk. “Kozume I have to go, want to meet here again tomorrow?” “ Yep, let´s do that.”, Kenma hopped off of the swing, “ Bye, tet...tetru...tesu.” Kenma stopped talking and frowned. “Your name is too hard.”, for a few seconds he mumbled something under his breath before lightening up and saying:” Bye, Kuro.” With that Kenma walked away, leaving a very happy Kuroo behind, who hurried home to tell his mommys all about his new friend. At that night, tucked into his warm bed after an exhausting day ,the last thing he mumbled before drifting of to sleep was:” I really, really like Kenma.” He couldn´t hear his mom whispering to her wife how little Tetsu was in loooove.

 

 

 

The second time Kuroo almost confessed to Kenma was at his graduation day from high school. Everything about that day had been so unreal, his last day, last time seeing the team from Nekoma, last time seeing Kenma. Of course he knew he was being over dramatic, he could still visit his school, the volleyball club and Kenma. Kenma would never leave his life, not if he could help it. Still, it felt like that. It felt as if his whole world just crumpled, everything that had been a constant in his life was gone. It was scary. This whole new situation was scary and nobody had prepared him for this. Even though he was a nervous wreck inside he smiled on the outside. He celebrated his graduation with his mothers before heading of to school to attend his graduation ceremony, still feeling as if he was walking through a dream. The haze over his mind still didn´t lift when he was training one last time with his volleyball team. It started to lift when they gave a moving speech to him and one after another said their farewells to him. Kuroo promised to come visit as often as he could and that he would keep in touch with them. After that the whole team was just a mess and in that chaos a small hand tucked on his jacket. He looked down to see level, amber eyes staring back at him. “Kuro let´s talk outside.”, dragging Kuroo after him Kenma snug out of the gym. “ Congratulations, Kuro” and a small smile from Kenma was all it took and Kuroo was breaking down crying. Pulling Kenma into a tight hug and burying his head into soft golden coloured strands he let it all out. No sense in shame now anyway. They stood like that for an eternity, at least it felt like that to Kuroo, Kenma later scolded him that it had been ten minutes top. Before pulling away Kuroo took a few deep breaths, letting the familiar scent from strawberry shampoo and Kenma calm him down. “I´m sorry.”, he whispered embarrassed,”I probably got your hair and shirt all gross.” “It´s okay. I don´t mind. Do you want to talk about it?” Kuroo just huffed. Did he want to talk about it? Yes, yes he wanted to have someone to know, to understand how he felt. He wasn´t sure if he could do this on his own and Kenma would never judge him, never ridicule his feelings. “It´s just. I´m so damn scared Kenma. I will start university in Tokyo. There will be nobody I know, what if I´m to bad for their volleyball club?, what if I won´t find friends?, oh god I´m an adult now and I have no clue what I´m doing. I will probably die.” Just now did he realise that he was squeezing Kenmas hands in his own tightly, and that the other boy was looking at him seriously. Gently Kenma freed his hands from Kuroos death grip, reaching up to cradle Kuroos face gently, forcing him to lock eyes with him. “ Tetsuro, calm down. Everything will be fine, you will see. You´re a brilliant athlete, of course you will get into the volleyball club and you´re sweet, funny and charming you´ll have no problems finding new friends and you will still have all your friend from here, remember you promised to visit. I´ll hold you to it. Otherwise I would have to come visit you. And I wouldn´t worry about not knowing what you do, everyone else doesn´t have a clue either and is just winging it, so you will most probably not die. I know it´s scary, but I know you can do it and if you can´t believe in yourself believe in me I always knew you better anyway.” A soft smile tugged on Kuroos lips as he huffed:” Your something else Kenma.” Lightly bumping their foreheads together he whispers:” Thank you. I really, really like you Kenma, you know that?” “Of course Kuro. I really, really like you too, we´re best friends after all.” Kuroo just huffed, thinking:” Not like that dummy, I really really like you because I kind of love you.” 

 

 

 

The third time Kuroo almost confessed was on his first party of university. Bokuto had just transferred over to Kuroos university and they had decided to rent an apartment together. Then Bokuto got invited to a party from one of his fellow med students and he had decided to drag Kuroo with him. Even though Kuroo had a major assignment for chemics coming up. Well, to put it shortly the party escalated pretty quickly and by midnight they were all pretty drunk. It had been around that time, when Kuroo decided what a brilliant idea it would be to text Kenma. At first it had been a few innocent, badly spelled texts about how drunk Kuroo was and how he missed Kenma, but then he had the genius idea to confess his huge crush to Kenma. Before he could get to that however Bokuto collided with him and asked:” Broooo, whassup?” “Im´ma text Kenma that I love him.” “Brooo, noooo.” “Why not, Brooo?” Bokuto opened his mouth to answer, when a loud knocking sound interrupted them. Some dude, probably the one hosting the party, staggered past them, turned down the music on his way and opened the door with a meek smile. In front of him stood a middle aged man, wearing nothing but an oversized pink bath robe over his frog printed pyjama pants, the man fixed the dude with a murderous glare and said alarmingly calm:” Do you know what time it is?”, and then nothing about the man was calm anymore,” It´s beeping midnight and if I hear one more sound out of this beeping apartment I will beeeeeeeep you all, you beeeeeeping beeep.” With that the man turned around, slammed the door and the party was over. The next time his plan of confessing to Kenma via text comes to Kuroos mind, when he and Bokuto stumble into their own apartment. Determined to realize his plan he searches for his phone and searches and searches. He groans:” Bro, I forgot my phone at that dudes hoooome.” “Bro, that´s a sign. A sign from above. You weren´t meant to sent that message to Kenma. “ Ya, think bro?” “Yep, remember all those fancy reasons you listed last time we talked about your crush. S´probably because of one of those reasons you shouldn´t do it.” “But I love him,brooooo.”, Kuroo whined. “ I know bro, I´m here for you.” “What if he doesn´t like me bro?”, Kuroo whispered. He was near tears now and maybe had a teeny, tiny meltdown over here. “Nah, he loves you bro.” 

 

 

The fourth time Kuroo almost confessed was on one of Kenmas visits. They decided to have a quiet day and to watch films in Kuroos apartment. Bokuto leaving them after an hour or so to go pester Akaashi. Of course Kuroo just had to fuck up, to his defence he wasn´t used to being alone with Kenma anymore and snuggled up together on Kuroos old couch he felt really coupley. Maybe that was why he hadn´t noticed how they had cuddled closer and closer in the last hour. Kenma was practically laying on him, munching on popcorn, while Kuroos arms encircled him lightly. Had he just carted through Kenmas hair a few moments ago? That wasn´t straight behaviour. Kenma will notice his giant crush. Abort mission. Install personal space again. Just as he was about to move Kenma carefully of him something big happened on the TV, he startled and he abruptly pushed Kenma of him, which led to Kenma falling of the couch. “Shit Kenma are you alright? Did I hurt you? I´m sorry?” “It´s alright Kuroo. I´m fine. Want to tell me why you practically threw me of off you?” “Ahhhm...”, he said eloquently,” You know I- I just really had to pee.” With that Kuroo rushed into the bathroom, ignoring the hurt look flickering over Kenmas face. As soon as Kuroo had locked the door he sat down leaning against it and sighed. Hesitantly he mumbled:” Kenma. I love you. That´s why I just acted so weird, we were just so close and I got so embarrassed but please forgive me. Go out with me?” Instantly his face flushed and he groaned:” I can´t say that to him.” A sharp knock on the door pulled him out of his misery:” Kuro? Are you okay?” “YES!”, Kuroo practically screamed, blushing furiously. He hurried to get up and unlock the door, practically ripping it open, coming face to face with Kenma. For a few seconds they just stared at each other in complete silence. “I love you Kuro.”, Kenma blurted out.

 

When Kenma had first arrived he hadn´t planned on confessing to Kuroo. Honestly speaking he had just planned to watch a nice film, drive home again and ignore the obvious tension between the two of them. Kenma had a thing for Kuroo since years and for a while he had thought that maybe,maybe Kuroo felt the same, to be honest he still thought that, but it was just as plausible that Kuroo had no idea that his behaviour towards Kenma wasn´t exactly appropriate for friends and didn´t have any special feelings for him. Then they had cuddled on the couch and Kenma shall be damned if normal friends cuddle like that. He for one didn´t. Just as he thought about telling Kuroo about his feelings Kuroo shoved Kenma off of him. Well, maybe he shouldn´t confess after all. After that Kuroo vanished into the bathroom for an uncomfortable long time. Kenma started to regret the cuddling, of course it had felt great but it had freaked Kuroo out. Kenma hated how self-conscious and anxious Kuroo could become, Kuroo should always be his confident, happy self. Sometimes Kenma felt as if he was just hindering Kuroo to be that man. Sighing Kenma went over to the bathroom door, knocking and asking if Kuroo was alright. When the door suddenly opened Kenma wasn´t prepared to come directly face to face with Kuroo, he blushed slightly. For a few seconds they stared at each other in silence, Kenma taking in Kuroos blush and disheveled appearance. He heard a tiny Shouyou in his mind say:” It´s not my place to tell you this, but Kenma honesty is the best policy.” He remembered how Shouyou had said that, when he had last him what to do with his crush on Kuroo. Before he could stop himself the words tumbled out:” I love you Kuro.” Kuroo just looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “Pardon me?”, Kuroo asked. “I hate you.”, Kenma dead-panned. “That´s not what you said a second ago.”, Kuroo practically cooed. “Must have misheard me.”, Kenma mumbled, avoiding eye contact. “Hey?”, Kuroo softly grabbed his chin, tilting it upwards until their eyes met,” I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Shamelessly projecting own insecurities on Kuroo....Anyway I hoped you liked it pls leave a comment and kudos!


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